Sunday, 11 August 2013

Challenge 29 - Inspired by your hero.

Hi, Girls!

So, this challenge is inspired by your hero. This was a toughy for me. There was an obvious person, but I did not want to go with that. Turns out, I had to go with that person, I don't have too many heroes!

As I've said before, I lost my Nan in May. I'm very glad I have tape over my webcam right now, because talking about her still breaks me.

My Nan is amazing. I mean, one of a kind. There were many roads I could have gone down with this. She liked socks, but, if I was doing this in her memory, I can't use 'socks' as the one thing that defines her. I sat back & thought about what made her my hero, & not 'just' my Nan. It was pretty obvious in the end.

My Nan, though we lost her when she was only 70, had to deal with so many shitty illnesses, the fact she made it to seventy is amazing. The last couple of years of her life she suffered from Dementia.

(My Brother is doing a charity event at the end of the month for Alzheimers research in her memory. Link to his Just Giving page is HERE. Please consider sponsoring him.)

She also had diabetes, though she was a terrible diabetic.

The main thing, she had Lupus. Now, if my Mother reads this, I apologise, but I fucking hate this disease. My Nan must have been diagnosed twenty odd years ago, though it took a long time for her to get that diagnosis, as it's really not easy to do so. I grew up watching her suffer with this, & she didn't complain. The disease itself, to make it easier for people who have only ever heard it in House M.D, is slightly like AIDS, however, you don't contract it. The immune system will attack itself. My Nan ended up with a blood infection, & died of multiple organ failure. Whilst Lupus was not put down as the cause for this, it most definitely was. Her body could not fight off the infection. She fought so hard for so many years. Any time she got ill, she would fight & win. This was just one fight too many. I was there with her when she died in hospital. Something I swore I'd never do, as death scares the shit out of me. But, she was my Nan, & I needed to be there. It was heart breaking, & the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but there was also a sense of "She's not suffering anymore'

So, the obvious thing to do, was to go with Lupus. She inspired me with just how hard she fought against it, how she did not let it run her life, even if that did get harder as time went on, & adding the other illnesses. She was the strongest person I have ever met, yet she always put the kids & Grandkids before herself. She could be having a really bad day with pain, but never spoke about it, & if I rang her up in tears about some stupid thing, I was her first concern. I was her favourite Grandaughter. (The only one, but that's beside the point) & she was my Old Woman. An inside joke that went on for nearly fifteen years.

One of the symbols for Lupus is a purple butterfly. One of the symptoms is a butterfly shaped rash over the face, which is why it seems like a pretty symbol.

So, I did purple butterflies.

Note the ring. My Nan gave me this ring years ago. When I was in hospital with her, 24 hours before we lost her, the gem 'fell out' I have no idea where. I was devastated. However, a friend pointed out to me, that I should look at is as if the Old Woman took it with her. Naive, maybe, but I like it.

They're not the best images, & I'm not even going to go self critic, as doing something for my Nan like this, I was never going to think it was good enough. She liked looking at what I'd done on my nails though, so I'm pretty sure that even if they were total shit, she'd tell me they were amazing.

I love & miss my Nanny more than I can say. You can't describe this in words. The pain will always be there, I'm sure. I just hope more than anything, a cure for Lupus will be found in my life time.


  1. Wow. I was really touched by your Nan's story, and I know exactly what you mean about the pain always being there. I love that you interpreted the illness into your design, it looks great. I bet she would've rocked this nail art!

    1. Thankyou, Olivia. <3 It was a hard post to do, but I'm glad I did it. There is some wear on a couple of them, purely because it took me two days to work myself up to do it. xx